I’m just getting warmed up with this blogging thing and I’d like to say thanks to everyone who’s joined me for the journey already. I have an appetite to write.
So many things can cripple you at the outset of a new journey. Self-doubt can whack you round the head like a big fat piece of salami.
The thing is, I’m starting a blog on the creative process at a time in my life when I’m feeling at a creative crossroads, and slightly depressed.
Fuck it, I’m going to use my creative crisis as fuel to keep creating. And I’ve also decided to keep this whole blog thing authentic. The bad days with the good. The real with the unreal. The full spectrum of my creative experience.
You mostly read stories from people who are winning at life (or claim to be), and tell a dramatic back story about how they used to be in the struggle and then learnt all the lessons and now they have their life all sorted, with heaps of money, and great hair, etc etc.
Well I’m writing to you from the struggle. I’m still here. I don’t plan to hang around here forever, and believe me I’m fighting the fight of my life to get back to happy town. It’s not such a distant destination. I reckon I’m only about 20 hours of yoga away from feeling normal again. It’s mostly just a matter of chemistry.
But I need to make some life changes too. And I need some help. Good thing I’m getting better at the Art of Asking. One of my creative heroines Amanda Fucking Palmer has just released a book by the same title, and made it to the New York Times Bestseller list. Yeah girl! Yo I should get that thing. Here it is.
On a fun note, I got blown away by some amazing artists at the Mullumbimby Music Festival on the weekend. I’m going to unashamedly favourite a couple of my friends’ bands, not because I’m biased, but because I clearly have exceptionally great taste in friends. The Hussy Hicks blew my brains out, and Bullhorn just ripped the dance floor to pieces. Or rather, they blew the roof off and the dance floor ripped itself to pieces.
I found myself in between never wanting to make a note of music again because these people were so amazing and I should just crawl under a rock and resign; and being inspired to push on and keep making music, regardless of the sometimes seeming senselessness of the sonic safari.
Because that music healed me. And I know that’s what my music does for others. And that’s why I keep going.
I also bought a pack of Life Purpose Oracle Cards while passing through Byron Bay, once hippy beach capital of Australia, now hipster headquarters. My boyfriend said, that’s a good way of working out what you want to do with your life honey, look at some pieces of cardboard. He has an ironic sense of humour.
I drew the Artist, the Spritual Teacher, Strength, Options, Let Go and go back to School.
Ok, well that was reassuring. And I know what I need to learn. I’ve got a month to prepare for a new year of creation and inspiration. I’ve ordered Leonie Dawson’s planning tools for 2015 (she’s a creativity coach from Far North Queensland). I’ve opened Julia Cameron’s Vein of Gold and considering taking on another guided journey with her (author of the Artist’s Way). My man and I have started daily workouts and healthy eating and once we find our new pad closer to civilisation there’s a yoga school waiting for me to roll out my mat.
This is just a dip in the road. I know my wings can carry me through this.
Here’s what to do when you don’t know what to do.
Whatever you can, and whatever you must.
Believe in you. Trust in the process.
Love and melodies,
Ps, What do YOU do when you don’t know what to do? And what are your major goals and plans for 2015? Share them with me in the comments, I’d love to hear from you.
Pps, Life is really pretty good, amigos. Here’s a a magical moment I shared with Julz Parker + an amazing audience at the festival, performing a cover of Gotye’s Somebody I Used to Know.